So this morning I set out at 8.30am planning another 12 mile walk, in preparation for my June pilgrimage. And I had excellent intentions. Three miles along the Macclesfield canal, before a pause for breakfast at the excellent Waterside Cafe https://cafe-waterside.res-menu.net/ . Then I was planning 3 more miles towards Marple before pausing for lunch, turning around and walking the 6 miles home
And breakfast WAS excellent – porridge with peanut butter and toasted hazlenuts. I thoroughly recommend it. But as I sat there I realised that my head was aching and I was feeling pretty exhaused after a busy week. And it was hot!
And I COULD have pushed on, of course I could. But instead I turned back, had lunch at home, had a rest and then walked a few more miles later in the day.
St Paul, more than once, uses the metaphor of a race for the spiritual life (e.g. 1 Corinthians 9:24). I don’t find it a particularly helpful one, if I’m honest. The metaphor of a race suggests winners and losers and I find that hard to reconcile with the generosity of God that Jesus preached, with his images of the kin-dom of heaven as a feast to which all are invited.
If I were going to pick a personal metaphor for the spiritual life I think I’d pick something gentler and more playful than a race – a circle dance perhaps? Something collaborative, not competitive. Something kind.
Because I don’t think the spiritual life is a competition. I don’t think life itself is a competition for that matter. I don’t think we have to prove ourselves to others. We are all human, all imperfect and for the most part all doing our best. And we all need other people – not to compete with but to help and be helped by them, to walk alongside, to enjoy life with.
And for those of us with aging bodies, a bit of kindness, a little gentleness towards ourselves seems to me a wiser, more fruitful path than always pushing, always striving onwards.
So today I pressed the pause button, came home, rested and then did a little, not a lot, more walking later. I failed to achieve my goal. And failure, too, is a surprisingly important part of the spiritual life.
St Werburgh was famed for kindness towards creation. Well, I am part of creation too. So today I chose kindness towards the little bit of creation that is me. Sometimes I forget, if I’m honest. Sometimes I push myself too hard and try to be ‘best’. But today I remembered to walk with Werburgh and to be kind.
And I really do recommend the porridge.
Jennifer Fox Eades: Alexander Technique Teacher 